Online Dating Pros and Cons: Personal Tips & Tales

Have any of you ever considered online dating? What is your take on it? Online dating websites and apps are a popular way to meet and find potential partners. Some people think it is a great way to find love, but there are some pros and cons to the whole concept. In this post, I share some of the pros and cons plus some safety tips while dating online.

Image by Gerd Altmann from Pixabay

PROS

Availability of Options  

There are many online sites and applications that you can use for online dating. There are many where you can meet people who are also looking to meet someone new. Each app or website hosts a diverse pool of potential matches. That means a large pool of people that you would not meet in real life if you had not met them on the app. 

While the availability of options is a good thing, it would also be good to not let it become a bad one. There are many applications or sites that you can use, but it does not mean that you should sign up everywhere. 

Pick and choose the apps that you want to use. One is good, two would be fine, but three could be too much. You don’t want it to feel overwhelming so take it easy. Make sure to look up the app or site before signing up. Check out feedback on social media from other people before making your choice. That’s what I did before I gave this idea a shot.

The same goes when it comes to picking potential dates from the site or apps. Don’t swipe right or pick anyone with the slightest potential. With so many options available, it is important to be selective. You need to be sure that you are connecting with someone who has a true interest in you. Don't settle!

Convenience

Being online makes dating convenient. You can do it anytime from anywhere. You do not need to spend money on each other on a first date because you would be getting to know each other online first. Plus, there would be no uncomfortable moments face to face. 

In case one of you figures out that you are not compatible, it is safer to do the getting-to-know-you stage online. It would be easier to cut things off that way. There's reduced pressure because you have not yet met face-to-face. 

Compatibility

With people having profiles on dating apps or websites, you have the option to check out people first. You get to check if that person is someone you would like to meet and get to know. You get to see if they are someone you could be compatible with based on what they share about themselves. You can weed out the ones you want without talking to them. Sounds good right?

Use the filter feature when searching for potential dates on the website or app. It helps ensure the person you see online aligns with your desired qualities. The filter feature is your friend. Use it well!

Successful Dating Stories

Many people have found love and have started families with people they have met online. Their stories can be very sweet, inspiring, and encouraging. My friend met her husband through a dating website, and they are now married. You cannot dismiss these apps or sites when you consider their success rates. 

For my readers who understand Tagalog, check out the Fandesals Podcast. You can learn more about my friend's success story there. The episode is at the end of this post. 

But success stories aside, it doesn’t mean that we should have huge expectations. This is real life, not a fairy tale. 

While there are pros to online dating, it has its cons too. Here are some of them:

CONS

Catfishing and Misrepresentation

This is a big problem with doing things online. You are never sure if the person on the other end is showing his or her true self. Anyone can say anything they want online. They can misrepresent themselves with pictures or videos. Those may not be an accurate representation of themselves and their lives. In this era of photo and video enhancements and editing, you can never be too sure. They may not look the way they are sharing online. They may not even be the same person in the photo!

There is always a risk that the person you are speaking to is misrepresenting himself or herself. It is up to the user of the app or the website to be discerning. The user must decide if the person that they choose to talk to and start a relationship with online is who he or she says.

One example was discovering someone I knew on a dating app. He's married so it shocked me to see him on the app. His profile said he was single, with no sign of his true marital status. It was very different from the other profile I saw of him on another social media site. You never know if people are telling the truth on these apps. 

It is best to be cautious until you can be sure that the person is who he or she says. It is also safer to listen to your gut because human intuition is often never wrong. Plus, always remember that if it is too good to be true, it might be.

Safety and Privacy Concerns

Along with risks that the person is misrepresenting, there is also a safety and privacy risk. You are getting to know someone who is a stranger. Someone you have never met in real life. You are sharing things about yourself and about your life that could be a risk to you and your safety.  

You need to decide how much you're comfortable sharing. Remember not to put your safety at risk until you are sure about the person you are talking to online. 

One tip for your safety is to not give away your personal information until you are sure it is safe. Be discerning of the information you share. Be sure the person you are talking to is someone you can trust first.

Another safety advice: please do not give money or your banking info to someone you have only met online. There are so many love scammers who love bomb people and later scam them for money. Do NOT fall for it!

Expectation vs Reality

It goes along with the misrepresentation concerns. What you expect from the person could be completely different from what you will see in real life. 

Another factor could be that there are people who may get along well online, but it might be different in real life. As good as it can get online, it is possible for both of you not to have the same feelings for each other offline. You may or may not share the same chemistry or hit it off as well as you did online. 

Mixed Intentions

Some people are online looking for love, and some are there looking for their next hookup. Some of them are only looking around. This is a problem with online dating if both parties are not clear about what they want out of the site or app.  While some people do state their intentions in their profiles, others do not. 

People should get to know each other on these dating sites first. This way people can be clear about what they are looking for. If they know from the start that they are looking for different things, that's time saved.

Online dating is something that I have tried at one point in my life, but I found that it is not for me. I have been in long-distance relationships in the past, but that's different. Those were people I met face-to-face before dating them online. It’s not so much the idea of it that I did not like as it was the types of people I was seeing. I’m guessing this is because the kind of people I want to meet are the type of people who are not into online dating apps too.

Online dating is a convenient option for those with busy schedules. It is good for people who find it challenging to meet potential partners in person.  Dating online is a way to meet new people if you want to expand your choices. But, based on my experience, it is also an environment that does not suit everyone. It is not something you can force on people. If you have tried it and you did not like it, online dating might not be the right fit for you. 

For the people who have tried online dating and have good stories about them, I would love to hear about it! Share your experiences by leaving a message in the comments! 

Here is the podcast episode from the Fandesals Podcast that I mentioned earlier. If you can understand Tagalog, this is for you! I hope you like it!